Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Forever Afflicted

Today marks the day,
The moments,
Where I relive each occasion
With reminiscent tears
And nightmarish persuasion
I numb the pain
Let reason invade
My mind as to why,
I had lived through this
Surreal hallucination
All that remains,
Are unanswered questions, like...

Was I strong enough...
…To care for you?
Was I worthy enough...
…To carry you?

The thought of knowing who you were
Had escaped me
Before I even knew you existed
And having belatedly seen
How this has affected me,
It's shown me a type of pain
Only bereaved mothers know of
And never fully recover from
Forever afflicted

Can really point fingers and
Self inflict blame
Except you
It comes upon you naturally
On guilty parties and
Already bruised womb
The ache never ceases,
And pain never subdues.
Never knowing why
Never given the chance
To choose you.


**This poem is dedicated to all women who have experienced the pain and loss of losing a child, through miscarriage, or any other sort of circumstance beyond our control and choices.  I share this with you; I survive this with you. It's been 9 years.  Writing about this for the first time brought some kind of healing.  Poetry has always brought me solace.  With what I create, simultaneously saves me.  And from this experience, for whom I create, never failingly watches over me.  Here's to our angels...

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Breakfast (Unspoken Word)

Over breakfast…
No sound was uttered
No word was said
Just an overwhelming feeling of

Pleasurable elation and
Sensual contentment
In the morning light,
Was beamin
Feelin like
You were feelin it too
Coffee brewin
And the fusion of
Breakfast tastes and lewd menus had
Somehow mimicked our bodies
Brown sugar and honey
Milk, cream and cinnamon
Were mixed in with the scents
From our skin
Senses honed in
Erogenous in nature
Erotic enough to awaken
The memories of what just took place...

Last night
Rounds one, two, three, four and five…
We broke the tension and the strife 

Hence the smile upon my face
And the rouge above my grin
Body drenched with sweat and anticipation
For rounds six, seven,

And ten to begin
Your taste was mine
And still lingers on my lips...
Over breakfast
We sit
I take a sip of my beverage
And allow my tongue to savor
In your aftertaste
Breathing in flavors ecstasy-laced;
Waiting for exhalation
Eyes making love
While still holding conversation
Withholding nothing but
Our appetites and desires to quench
Sexual dehydration
Our early morning fixation
An exchange of pure exhilaration
Resulting in the most
Delectable taste sensation
While breaking bread
Over breakfast


Friday, January 20, 2012

Into The Dark

No one ever said
That this ride would be easy…

We’re so drawn towards the light
Of happiness and elated feelings
Of lazy lust mornings
Of warm afternoons and
Sex craved evenings
That we’re made blind to the fact that
Into the dark
We’re quietly and
Knowingly journeying

Come take my hand
Even though
You might be unaware of the fact
That at times I might let go
But don’t
Dare lose focus
Lessen your faith in us
Be oblivious
Be slight
Become blind to hindsight

Here within lies…
Heartache and anguish
Transforming into madness
Into the limelight shines
Regrets and unspoken sadness
Our once beautiful unification
Becomes torturous irritation
Trial and tribulation
We take
Emotional lacerations
We are
Bleeding unfaithful hearts
Resulted from
Miscarriage and mortification
We scar
We grin and bear it
Pressures of judgement and
Monogamous stipulations
Family and friends expectations
Of “how come”
And their opinions on
“Why you two never made it”
Fuck it


We all
Seem to want to take the easy way out
But if you knew beforehand
That this is what’s in store
That this is what’s planned for us
Would you still take my hand and
Journey into the dark?

No one ever says that this road is easy…
But everyone says...

...It’s just hard.